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GET IT? NO! Considering the sheer amounts of shit this game throws as those who buy it I wouldn’t be surprised if it could be found in the scat-section of your local porn-store.
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I can’t stress this strongly enough without resorting to physical harm And do so in a way that would make Carmageddon 1 proud of its physics.
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Except for the soon to be-mauled cars, which truth to be told do break. Or did you? Then you’ll not find it exasperating that every fucking object reacts the same way.
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Looks really funny when a silo cocks around in front of your truck at full speed, but is that really what you should expect? Thought so. The only proof of damage is that they’re not stuck to the object they were stuck to in the first place. Drive into an object and push it in front of you? What the fuck. This game has been completely oblivious to this concept of devastation. Monster Trucks in all their moronic and sister-screwing glory are not about the quickest lap-time, they’re about pure jeans-staining destruction (even if the lap-time is recorded). Some quickies: the racing stages are uninspiring the sound in this game was recorded from a nearby horse-dentist - my NES (8-bit dammit) sounds better the graphics are from extreme makeover – games of the 90’s edition.Īnd look, whomever this may concern.
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And sometimes the game for some idiotic reason fucks up the steering and not even stomping on the gamepad will make it turn. Activision to make Monster Jam Publisher signs an exclusive multiyear agreement for the rights to the games for the series featuring larger-than-life lorries. Correction: sometimes the steering is so sensitive that you’re wondering when the rest of the touring cars show up. Even though I’ve never driven a truck this size, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t operate like a go-cart with oil on the steering wheel. It’s not even buggy, this is the real crappy deal. While I wouldn’t normally complain about something like that in the age of mindless clones, Monster Jam then takes a trip to the cemetery and revives the worst parts some of which were buried a decade ago. Monster Truck Jam takes everything in the knowledge pool of the gaming industry and throws it out the window. This isn’t a game, it’s a time machine to the dark ages of gaming.
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On the plus side, the game features an impressive amount of detailed monster trucks. Look, I’m really stalling to be able to write something that doesn’t involve cock, shit, shit-cock and fucking bad game. Any my friend agrees, which is why he asked us to do this review. I’m not sure how you catch that disease, but after a few moments with this game, you’re going to rid yourself of it. Anyway, this particular friend was in the States over the holidays and decided to buy a game that featured the love of his life – “Monster Trucks”. Luckily, some of us have friends with a weird sense of humor.